Last night I was modeling my method of classroom management in front of you.  I was taken back to my childhood, pretending to be teacher in front of all my stuffed animals.  I was talking and giving amazing teacher looks to a room full of imaginary students.   It would have been SO embarrassing if I had been in front of anyone but you.  It's nice to have a friend that I can be completely vulnerable with.  

I dedicate this song to you and your solar system unit that kicked off today!

You had me at, "Can I set up a sensory table for the boys?"

You pretty much saved my bacon yesterday with that clever idea of putting all of our stale cereal to use.  

You are SO COOL!

There might be a surprise in your work bag today.

Someday a Saturday will just be a Saturday.

I love you!

This is how I know I married the right man.  
Your toothbrush says it all.

Trash Talk

Every Thursday morning I wake up with a jolt from the sound of giant mechanical arms smashing our neighbor's trash can to the ground.  The truck's engine accelerates and I know it must be in front of our house.  By then I have mustered up enough energy to whisper quickly, actually too abruptly for 6 am, "Did you put our cans out?!!"  You murmur, "mm-hmmm" and roll over for those last moments of sweet sleep.  And with relief I wonder, "With all the overwhelming details on his mind, how did he remember that?"

Thanks you for rolling the big guys out to the curb every Wednesday night, JK.

Soon, there will be a big break from all of this hard work that seems like it will never end.  21 days, in fact.

I appreciate you.

I recently put this picture up as my profile shot on facebook.  Max had taken it while we were hanging around in the van one day, waiting to pick up his brothers.  I thought it was nice so I asked my sister to clean me up a little.  She did an amazing job.  Because I have the sweetest friends in the world, I got tons of comments of how beautiful I looked in that picture.  It made me feel really good.  Then, ironically, it made me critical of my appearance.  This isn't completely the normal me.  I have dark circles under my eyes and lines and scars and deep wrinkles.  I started wishing for more of the edited version of me to exist.

It's weird because I think compared to most girls I don't even think about my appearance that much.  I mean, I do want to look cute and nice, but it's not at the front of my mind.  Why is this?  I think it's because of you.  Ever since the first time you were brave enough to tell me how pretty I was, there hasn't been a day that has gone by without you affirming my looks.  Wow.  The way you point out how cute I am makes me way less consumed with my outward appearance.  That is really an incredible gift you have given me, Jeff Kurtz.  

The other day I was feeling a little gnarly, about ready to head to the shower, when Caden looked me in the eye and said, "You look like pretty stuff.  Every part of you."  Do you know how great that feels?  I knew he had learned that from his daddy.

Thank you for seeing everything beautiful about me, edited or not.

I always hoped my husband would be a great dad.  It was actually a key quality I looked for in my future mate.

I hoped he would....

- wear custom made beaded necklaces

- put something random and unnecessary in his workbag that one of his kids had given him

- write love notes to his children

- discipline with love

I saw you do all of those things and more this week.  So glad I get to be your teammate in the hardest job we have ever had.

Thank you for knowing that I feel loved and supported through spreadsheets and calendars.  Some girls like roses, but you know those Excel lines are what stir my heart.  It sure is nice to be known.

I like making plans with you.  Did you know Spring Break starts in 24 days?!

Dude, we have a new bed!!  A king size bed...something we have dreamed about for years and finally came true thanks to our tax return.  It arrived on Friday in a box that you wouldn't think a big ol mattress could fit in.

We spent all day yesterday getting everything we needed to set this baby up, including a base and bedding.  I love your Macguyver thinking in buying our own plywood instead of being suckers at Sleep Country.  You have taught me over and over throughout our marriage to think outside the box.

Opening up the box we found out the mattress was shaped into a heart...how cute and clever (or convenient).

Can you believe that we had our bed for nearly 14 years?  That's approximately 5100 mornings of waking up and starting a new day together.  When I think of this new bed I can't help but think of us in 14 years from now and how growing old with you is going to rule.

So many memories to be made, including thousands of Kurtz Boy Cannon Balls.

Yesterday we got to spend a lot of time together without kids and that was a great thing.  In the morning, I went to your school to watch you in action.  You felt tons of pride introducing me to whoever you could and that made me feel good.  Hearing your  voice explain common denominators was SO charming to me!  New dream: You and I co-teach a fourth grade class...you in?

Later that day, after the boys were tucked in for the night, we headed over to Northern Lights to see a movie.  Yes, I missed the last half hour because I was snuggled into your warm shoulder.  You said it was the part I would have loved, but sleeping felt sooooo good right then.  I just liked being with you.

Looking forward to this three day weekend.  You have tons of homework, but you can do it.

I love you!

You know I don't really love the word "sexy" but I can't think of a better one to describe what happened yesterday.  Right when you came in the door you gathered up your boys and took them outside to play in the backyard.  I was in the kitchen, actually enjoying cooking without any interruptions.  It was a scene that I had envisioned motherhood to be, but in reality, is hard to come by.  I am sure you would have loved to sit down and relax, maybe turn on the TV and just zone out.  Instead you chose to be a man, engaging in your kids and relieving your wife.  I respect that so much.

I felt so blessed.  Then you came in and cleaned up the giant disaster I had made in the kitchen.  Pots and pans and food and bowls, an overwhelming mess. That's when it turned into sexy.  I said it.

I dig you so much!

Candles

This is how I know I married the right guy:

1.  Last night you suggested our family eat by candlelight.

2.  You then tried to teach our kids how to use "restaurant voices" which lasted about two minutes.

3.  You were genuinely thrilled when you won the Quiet Game.

I love you!

Yesterday, 4:00 rolled around and I started getting that dread feeling of trying to figure out what to cook for dinner.  I had looked in the refrigerator and freezer a dozen times and that produced nothing.  You came in the door after a hard day of work and began making dinner for our family.  How did you think of something to fix in 2 minutes and 2 looks into the fridge?  You know the way to a girl's heart....casseroles she doesn't have to conjure up herself.

I dig your creative cooking.  

Yesterday you and I made a "mixtape" for each other.  We had been researching separately for awhile so it was incredibly fun to be able to listen to what you had picked for me....and to hear how much you loved what I had chosen for you.  I went to sleep last night to my new songs, thinking of you.  Then my drive this morning was made a million times better by good music.  I love how we like so many of the same things, yet are completely different from each other.  

Here are our lists:

To Christi from Jeff:

Silver Trees by Rocky Votolato

The Kids Don't Stand a Chance by Vampire Weekend

Marry Me by Train

All My Days by Alexi Murdoch

Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John

First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes

The Engine Driver by The Decemberists

Earthquakes and Sharks by Brandtson

First Love by The Maccabees

Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron and Wine

M79 by Vampire Weekend

I Go to the Barn Because I like the by Band of Horses

Backwards Walk by Frightened Rabbit

Living in Coulour by Frightened Rabbit

Float On by Modest Mouse

To Jeff from Christi:

You Are the Best Thing by Ray La Montagne

I and Love and You by The Avett Brothers

Shroud by Nathaniel Rateliff

To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra

Just Breathe by Pearl Jam

Down By the Water by The Decemberists

Dog Days Are Over by Florence plus The Machine

This is Why We Fight by The Decemberists

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing by Sufjan Stevens

Winter Winds by Mumford & Sons

You and I by Ingrid Michaelson

I have always connected music with you.  My new mixtape will bring me so many good moments appreciating you even when we aren't together.

I dig your taste in music and I dig you, Jeff Kurtz.

You know I love you and always will. The part that has become sketchy these last couple years is you knowing how much I like you. I do, but I don't always show it. I am growing in that area and this blog was created to help me with that. This is the daily place to go to know that I respect, appreciate, and admire you. An okay marriage is easy, a lot of people can do it. But I want our marriage to be great and I am realizing how much of that outcome is up to me.

I dig you, Jeff Kurtz.